Top tips for gifting this festive season

Follow Associate Professor Samuelson Appau’s tips for giving this festive season and you’ll not only help the environment but strengthen your relationships.

For some people, giving gifts appears to be a natural talent.  

But for most of us, gifting is hard work, time consuming and comes with a lot of expense. 

And unfortunately, the effort we go to is not always appreciated. Every year Australians give gifts that are unwanted or unused, creating waste estimated at more than $920 million.  

Gifts are also loaded with hidden meanings and unspoken rules.  

This is because gifts have always been used to express your relationship to another, but this means giving gifts also comes with the risk of offending.  

Get it right though, and it can lead to strengthened relationships and bring joy to both the giver and the recipient.  

The benefits of gifting

Gifts have been around for as long as humanity has existed, and they are intrinsically tied to human relationships.  

Pre-dating the market economy, gifting first emerged as a way of sharing resources and exchanging ideas. If you had something and someone needed it, you would pass it on in the hopes that the favour might be returned in the future.  

Today it continues to be an important way to build and maintain relationships. 

We use gifts to express love and appreciation, to create memories and ultimately, to delight others. 

How to pick the perfect gift

1. It’s the thought that counts 

We’ve all heard the phrase ‘it’s the thought that counts’ but when it comes to gifting, putting thought in can help ensure you’re giving a gift someone truly wants and needs.  

This starts with paying attention to the person you are buying for.  

When you begin paying attention, people will often tell you what they want by dropping hints. They may complain about something that is not working or mention something they wish they had. Or perhaps they complimented you on something you own.  

Think back to conversations and interactions and use them to help guide your buying decisions. 

2. Take stock of your relationships  

When you're giving a gift to someone, ask yourself, is this a gifting relationship that I want?  

While there are many benefits, gifting comes with obligations on both sides of the interaction.  

You may feel the need to give a gift to someone and when you give a gift, that person also feels obliged to receive it. 

When you receive a gift, you are also left with an obligation to reciprocate. You have this sense of debt to give them a gift at some point in the future. 

There’s also often an expectation that the reciprocated gift is at least equal to, or better than what they gave you.  

This can lead to unwanted pressure or embarrassment, when the receiver can’t live up to this. 

Do you want to set off that chain of obligations?  

On the flipside, when you receive a gift, remember that person has probably put in a lot of effort and usually, it is a symbol of their love and respect they have for you. 

Be grateful and show your appreciation.  

3. Be aware of power imbalances 

Have you ever received a gift and found yourself wondering the true motive behind it? That’s because in some instances, gifts are given to exercise power or create a sense of imbalance.  

Take for example a supplier that gives you a gift at work. Is accepting their seemingly kind gesture going to mean you will be asked for a favour down the line, or be expected to give them more work? That’s why organisational gifting policies have become standard practice, as they aim to avoid this kind of dynamic and the affective power that comes with it. 

If the other person may not be capable of reciprocating a gift to the same extent it’s important you make sure your expectations clear you don’t expect them to. 

Emphasise that you just really wanted to do this for them. 

This is particularly important if you are in a position where you hold more power, influence or wealth.  

For example, if you are gifting your employees, stress that it is a token of thanks for their work throughout the year, or perhaps a show of gratitude for a time that they really came through for you.  

This implies they have already provided you with something and can help remove that sense of indebtedness.  

The same applies to giving gifts to someone who has more power than you. 

4. Give to people separately to avoid comparison 

At Christmas, it’s often custom to unbox things at the same time around the tree, but where possible it’s best to avoid giving people presents at the same time.  

Presenting gifts to people together can lead to comparison.  

One person might be looking at the other thinking to themselves is my gift better or worse than the other person and reflect on what that means about the strength of your relationship.  

Despite your best intentions, it’s likely that somebody is not going to be happy, even if you give them the same thing!  

5. Share the cheer 

While gifting is a big part of Christmas tradition in Australia, there are people who may not have the means.  

It’s important to think about others who may be going through a hard time.  

Donating your food might be something you consider.  

Each year Australians throw away more than $36 billion worth of food, equating to 5 million tonnes in landfill. Donating some of your food not only limits waste but could be the difference to someone not going hungry over the holidays.  

Research shows people who are poor, or have experienced poverty, actually share more.  

This is because they can remember a time when things were hard for them and somebody came through, and they want to pay that good fortune forward. 

If you're fortunate in life, remember it took many factors to create your privilege, and not everyone is as lucky. 

So, if you can this year, share the cheer.  

Samuelson is an Associate Professor of Marketing at the Melbourne Business School. Samuelson teaches Marketing in the MBA program. He is also currently the Program Director for the Blue Nile Program, a business training program for African Australian entrepreneurs and professionals at the Melbourne Business School. 

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